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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423886">Your Future Wife</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meh_66/pseuds/Meh_66'>Meh_66</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Little Witch Academia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akko is a flirt, Akko's mind is a mess, Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/F, Hannah and Barbra are low-key dicks, Light Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:07:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>788</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423886</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meh_66/pseuds/Meh_66</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>We take a look inside Akko's mind as she meets Diana for the first time.</p><p>"Lesbian brain: ACTIVATE!<br/>wait n-<br/>Pretty girl oh my god prettyprettyprettyprettyprettyprettypretty-"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>192</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Your Future Wife</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by this comic/thingy.</p><p>https://www.reddit.com/r/Akkordian/comments/g37lwx/future_wifey/</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was a dark and stormy night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Akko was reflecting on last week. A rare sight to behold. She physically cringed at the memory.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was in one of the courtyards, trying to get a statue to move. She was getting quite frustrated and loud. Suddenly, she sensed a presence behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you please be quiet? I could hear you all the way in the library.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah? And who do you think you are?” Akko spun around, and was met with the most beautiful blonde she had ever seen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lesbian brain: ACTIVATE!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wait n-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Pretty girl oh my god prettyprettyprettyprettyprettyprettypretty-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m Diana Cavendish. And you are?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even her name is pretty. Oh gosh I’m really gay. I wanna marry her. And kiss those tender lips-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After staring for what felt like far too long, Akko replied. And said the stupidest thing in the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your future wife.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Diana seemed taken aback. A light blush tinted her cheeks. “W-well…” She struggled to maintain her composure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh she even looks cute when flustered-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W-what is your name then, future w-wife?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are we basically engaged now?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s asking for your name, dummy.” One of her sidekicks sneered. “Yeah,” The other one chimed in. “Again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cavendish, cabbage dish, Cavendish, cabbage dish, Cavendish, cabbage dish-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m Atsuko Cavendish! But you can call me Akko.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait. Did I just say Cavendish? Oh no. Now she hates me and I won’t be able to french the fuck out of her. Quick! dEPLOY THE DAMAGE CONTROL-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“KAGARI! I MEANT KAGARI!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>fUCK WHY AM I SHOUTING-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W-well, it’s nice to meet you Miss Kagari.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Quick! Hit on her! wait n-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did it hurt when the angel fell on you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck that's not the line! Wait, what is the line? This was a terrible idea. Imma try again-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A-anyways, is it hot in here or is it just you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Might as well go all the way, balls to the walls. Potential problem: I don’t have balls. I’ve got tiddies. Tiddies? I like tiddies-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was that supposed to be a pickup line?” The pony-tailed snob spoke up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do know that she’s rejected everybody that’s hit on her before, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have an honest chance with her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>God, will tweedle dee and tweedle dum shut up-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s because everybody that has hit on me before has been male. I would expect that my two closest friends would know about my rampant lesbianism.” Diana silenced her friends with a glare. “I recall telling you two.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wow. Her voice is like that of an angel. A gay angel. bECAUSE SHES GAY!!1! I’M NOT CRUSHING ON A STRAIGHT GIRL AGAIN!1!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well then, would you like to go to town with me in, like, 2 seconds?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was that too forward? Fuck. I’ve ruined my chance with her-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a tense 43.464668 seconds for the brunette.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck fuck fuck fuggity fuck I should’ve planned this-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe this Saturday? We aren’t allowed outside of the school grounds on weekdays.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Doigfn3a0 68u724a[gsote[9igwe[-9t0n7h-y qwaeit034752a3w9fj dn8o56y35shp 98udpo8bln gi7s5yepgz0;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everybody in the courtyard was stunned. They were all thinking one of two things. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Diana? A lesbian!? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Or </span>
  <em>
    <span>She's that easy to win over?! I should’ve asked her out years ago! </span>
  </em>
  <span>But the two people most stunned were Hannah and Barbra. They had never expected Diana of all people to go on a date with the same troublemaker that came through the floor during the opening ceremony.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rawjyh[</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>3q0a8w4t[guzsr[gb 90seupytzs79tyzod9uthdxog9e6tnoys9 ME!! DIANA!! DATE!! 4wujtlynson53y89u4d5hr oirszrp0thabw0 tehg fx===oifg0w!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s just doing that out of pity.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, don’t get your hopes up. She’s just desperate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Xf;oy8 e0;rsihp6083y4whgsyhtbes yhw4p8t7nws4p0at8u</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>3vqp I’M DATING AN ANGEL ourhtw94uth3540eutsrgne0fm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ladies, I assure you I am not desperate. I could have any girl in this school if I wanted.” As if to prove her point, she gestured to the courtyard. The courtyard responded by swooning. “I find Akko quite… endearing.” Diana blushed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I find Diana quite hot. And cute. And pretty. And beautiful. And-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Akko, you have a plant growing out of your head.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>oH FU-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me fix that for you, darling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Darling. She cALLED ME DARLING OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a wave of her wand, Diana returned Akko’s hair back to normal. She then turned on her heel and walked away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>DAT ass tho-</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was at that point that Diana decided to nuzzle closer to Akko. “What’s wrong </span>
  <em>
    <span>Darling?”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sefuwgheth bwofh4oitbuwpiguw4pitwugp43SHE CALLED ME DARLING!!!!!!!!!! 8t[2-3qertyt7sfohsef[aeprueroughreo uheg</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> weoufsroigh o-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, Diana-tan.” Akko could feel Diana blush into her back. And with that, she went back to sleep. Maybe that day wasn’t so bad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And that kids, is how I met your mother. *Sitcom laugh track plays*</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
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